Preparing for marriage

Marriage is one of most important decisions of your life. The best advice I could give you is to date. You’re probably thinking well duh, but what is surprising is that people don’t date as much anymore. People aren’t looking for someone for the long term, only for a hook up here and there. Some people claim that they just haven’t found their type. They are waiting for Mr. or Mrs. right. Date lots of people so you really know what you are looking for. Even if you get asked out on a date by someone who isn’t “your type” still go out with them so you don’t get the reputation of the person that turns everyone down. Things that also make people not date as much is the lie that you have to know the person in order to date them. You go on dates to get to know them. That is the whole point of dating, to get to know the person and see if you should become more than friends. Another lie is that guys and girls can’t just be friends. Don’t you want to marry your best friend? Every successful couple that I know tell me that they married their best friend. We need to get rid of these lies. You don’t need to know the person to date them and guys and girls can just be friends. 

            When you were younger did you ever make a list of things that your certain someone should have? Cause I sure did! In a talk given by Elder Bednar to the students here at BYU-Idaho he talked about marriage and finding the right one. He said to become the person on your list. Become the person you want to marry because then you will attract the same person. The best way to prepare for married is to create the person you want in a wife or husband. 


            Here are some fun date ideas to get to know certain qualities of a person. To see who patient they are you could go to an escape room. They are put in a stressful situation and you can see if they have patience and let you figure things out or if they just take over and aren’t patient with you. Some other things people look for is if they are going to be a good patient. Take them to a place to see how they act around kids. Take them home to meet the family, see how they act around your siblings. Find things that show certain qualities at different times so you can really see if the person is right for you. 


            In a magazine called Meridian magazine in an article called Casual Dating is Alive and Well by JeaNette Smith says “Friendship dating, or what I refer to as “Casual Dating” in my book, Unsteady Dating:  Resisting the Rush to Romance appeals to more guys than you can imagine.  A case in point is a young lady I’ll call Sarah, who went to college and her first year in college she went on dates with sixteen different boys–real dates: planned, paid for, paired off… the works”. I really like this because we all make fun of old fashion dating but we all secretly want it. We all want the real dates, planned, paid for, paired off. I want those dates! Don’t be afraid to put your self out there. Make that important decision. If you are prepared it will be the easiest decision of your life!


Thanks for reading. See you in the next one, Bye!

Gender and Family life 

            Men and Women are built different, so they all have their own roles in the home. We are built for a reason. The role balance each other out, making the home flow smoothly. In the Family: A Proclamation to the World, says how important the two roles are. “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for the families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners”.  A mother and father have their responsibility that they have naturally. They don't need to learn them.  

 Mothers are born with a motherly instinct. The significance of mothers’ influence is first grounded in the relationship she forms with her child. Because motherhood is part of a women’s divine identity, her role as mother defined by a relationship more than a set of tasks. It is not what a mother does like, cleans the house, make dinner, but more of her relationship with her children. The natural relationship that happens between a mother and her child. A mother’s attentive love in this new relationship becomes the foundation by which all the other tasks of mothering become effective.

Mothers may feel guilt if they can’t be there for their children. If they may have to step in and take some responsibilities and get a job or leave for combat. Which may lead them further into a cycle of exhaustion and perceived failure in parenting. They may hold themselves responsible for things they can’t control. That's the worst feeling in the world. Who like to have no control over anything? Yeah that's what I thought. It is important to remember that no one is perfect, and no one is going to have perfect children. 

Father's have the ability, for good or ill, to exercise great power and influence in the lives of their children and families. A father needs the power to bless, which could be called Priesthood power. Fathers can model moral living and kindness to others so that their children accept sacred covenants. Fathers protect the family from their own sins or poor behavioral choices. They teach right form wrong. 

At a very young age we know our gender and the roles that follows that. In the article Infants Prefer Toys By Gender by ACSH staff-July 22,2016 says, “Children as young as 9 months-old prefer to play with toys specific to their own gender, the study found, suggesting that boys and girls follow different developmental trajectories with respect to selection of gender-typed toys”. We have known our roles since day one. We know what we are made to do. Its important to remember that especially now a days. Remember your roles and stick to them. Thanks for reading. See you in the next one, Bye! 

Family Culture 

When I hear the word culture I think of human societies, as well as the knowledge, beliefs, art, laws, customs, capabilities and habits of the individuals in these groups. I think of it as a large group of people, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way a culture can take place in a family. A family culture is more like a family that has the same knowledge, beliefs, rules and traditions. 

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World Says “Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to tech them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live”.  Every couple is going to raise their children differently. When following the proclamation, everyone is going to do it different and creative their family culture.  How they provide for their kids physical and spiritual needs will depend on their culture. 

My family isn’t your typical “molly Mormon” family. We don’t spend hours memorizing scriptures. We don’t have a scheduled family home evening. That just doesn’t fit our culture. In my last post I talked about how well my family gets alone with each other. We don’t need scheduled times to spend time together. Now there is nothing wrong with FHE or family scripture time, but that just doesn’t fit my family. We have tried to be better at things like that, but it always never stays consistent. We have been blessed with the new come follow me program. That has helped my family and I spend time together with the scriptures. Some families might think that our way is crazy and would never work for them. That is why families have different cultures. You make them up as you go and find out what works best for your family.  

There are other things that can create a family’s culture, like where they live. People now a days like to compare themselves to other people. They will try to do things like the rich family on the street or even try to out do them.  Other things that can influence your family culture is what your family did before you created the family you have now. A lot of people keep somethings the same but changed the things they didn’t like. For example, my dad’s family likes to keep their Sunday bests on all day on Sunday. He didn’t like that so now our family is just used to changing after church. Some of his siblings change after church and some don’t. Things like that is up to your family and its culture. 

Every family has its own culture and has its own way of doing things. Just remember to not compare your family to others, what you have going is what best works for your family. It can also change over the years as your kids get older. Never doubt your family’s culture.

Thanks for reading this far. See you next week. Bye!

Family Theories

We learn about family life through our own experiences. With family theories we can understand why things happen in our family. Theories are “logically related propositions that explain some phenomenon” (Lauer and Lauer, (20). They can help us predict and explain events. Family theories may help us understand specific experiences within the family and to august for future events. Family theories consider the interrelatedness of factors, including the influence of one member’s behavior upon another. They offer explanations for what might otherwise seem like mysterious patterns of behavior, even when those behaviors seem counter intuitive. Theories are not truths, but they can be very helpful in our study of the family. 

                The first theory I would like to talk about is systems theory. Systems theory asserts that the intimate group must be analyzed as a whole; the group has boundaries that distinguish it from other groups. People form the system and have roles that apply to their system.  In my family we have rules and roles that apply and work for our family. For example, we all respect each other; because we respect each other we get along way better. That helps with our family because we all get alone and there aren’t very many problems in the family. The sprit is in our home when we are all happy and getting along. We do things that help keep things in the family run smooth. We like to spend time with each other. I have turned down plans with friends because I would rather be with my family. This might not be the same case in other families. Some families may get alone better after they have spent time apart. So, use this theory and find what works best for your family.  

                The next theory is symbolic interaction. Symbolic interaction theory views humans primarily as cognitive creatures who are influenced and shaped by their interaction experiences. That is, what happens in interaction is a result not merely of what individuals bring to it also of the interaction itself. How you interact with family determines how your family gets along. How your family gets along determines if the spirt can dwell in your home.  How interacting with other people can tell them how you act at home. Interacting with other people can influence how you act at home. It is a theory that can only really be noticed if you pay attention to how you act when you interact with family and how you interact with people outside of your family. In my home I acted different then when I interact with friends. I acted the same at home when I’m with a new group of people. Your family can influence how act around people and your friends can influence how you act around people. Interactions with people can really affect how you act. If you have a happy home and interaction is good with your family, you will have good interaction with everyone.  

                Family theories can help you understand your family better.  They can help you understand why things happen in your family. They can help us predict and explain events. Family theories may help us understand specific experiences within the family and to august for future events. Remember, no family is the same. Not everything will work for every family. I got the information on theories from the book called Lauer and Lauer. It has great insight in all thing’s family more on the scientific side. Thanks for reading, see you in the next one. Bye!