Final Blog 

I have really enjoyed writing these blogs every week. I hope you have too. For my final post I wanted to share my favorite things that I have written about this semester. My favorite topics have been parenting and communication. I want to share why they are most important to me. 

I picked parenting because ever since I was little, I wanted to be a mom. My favorite game to play was family and I would always be the mom. I things I learned will help me be a good parent in the future. I want to be a good parent in the future. I want to be an authoritative parent. To have a positive connection with my kids. To teach them that certain behaviors have certain consequences and hopeful they will be able to make the decision on their own. I hope the information in my post about parenting will help others want to be authoritative parents and want the best for their kids. Remember that every child is different and will need attention. If you show every single one of your children that you are here for them and you love them, Heavenly Father will help with the rest. I’m so excited about meeting my kids and rising them in this gospel. 

I also picked communication because communication is key to any relationship. I wanted to just make a point on how important it is so I’m going to write about it again. You can never really understand how someone feels if they don’t tell you. Communication seems to be the biggest problem in families. Husbands and wife’s not willing to listen to each other, kids not willing to listen to the parents. Things like this can cause so much miss understanding and anger toward each other. Communication is key to every relationship. It is so important to have a family function properly. Communication is so important in the family. Being able to talk to one another really helps the relationship become stronger. You will be able to tell your family if something is wrong or if you have a problem with how things are working in the family. With knowing what is wrong you will be able to solve the problem together as a family. This quote always comes to mind we I think about communication. "Your most important friendships should be with your own brothers and sisters and with your father and mother. Love your family. Be loyal to them. Have a genuine concern for your brothers and sisters. Help carry their load so you can say, like the lyrics of the song, 'He ain't heavy; he's my brother'." -President Ezra Taft Benson. President Benson couldn't be more right. Your family should be your best friends. 

I hope you have enjoyed what I have had to say about my favorite topics.  I'm grateful for what I have learned in my class and will use what I have learned for the rest of my life and I hope you will too. 

Comment down below what has been your favorite topics that have been discussed. I hope you have enjoyed what I have written this semester. I hope I was helpful and insightful to many of you. Thanks for reading and all of the support. Bye!

Parenting

You might be wondering what an 18-year-old college student, with no kids knows about parenting. And your right I don’t know much. I obviously have no experience in that department. But I have learned a lot by babysitting and observing different families and seeing what type of parenting works best. I hate to break it to you, but I don’t have the best way to parent every single child. There is just no such thing. Every child will need to be parented a different way. For example, my little brother gets away with a lot of stuff. My parents defiantly don’t go as hard on him as they did on me. It’s not because they love him more it’s because we are different human beings and have different needs and personality characteristics.

There are three different types of parenting. There is the coercive parenting style, permissive and authoritative. The coercive/hostile or authoritarian style of parenting is characterized by parents who deride, demean, or diminish children and teens by continually putting them in their place, putting them down, mocking them, or holding power over them via punitive or psychologically controlling means. This is not a good way to parent. It hurts the kids and make them hate being at home. It has been linked to many forms of antisocial, withdrawn, and delinquent behaviors in children and adolescents. I know that no one wants that for their children. 

Permissive parenting is characterized by parents who overindulge children or neglect them by leaving them to their own devices. This style includes a shrinking of sacred parental responsibilities as parents fail to provide guidance and constraint when it is required for the child’s good. “Modern-day prophets counsel parents to provide and enforce reasonable limits to teach their children the clear bounds of acceptable and unacceptable behavior.” (Successful Marriages and Families). The most important thing you could do as a parent is being there for your children. Showing them that you love them. The permissive parenting does not fit well with the proclamation principles.

The optimal parenting style is the authoritative parenting style. Authoritative parenting fosters a positive emotional connection with children, provides for regulation that places fair and consistent limits on child behavior, and allows for reasonable child autonomy in decision making.  This style creates a positive emotional climate that helps children be more open to parental input and direction and allows for parents to individualize child rearing. President Monson once said “To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day as you deal with challenges which inevitably come with parenthood. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them." I love this because it is so true. I have seen families do it this way and their children turn out to be amazing disciples of Christ. 

            Remember that every child is different and will need attention. If you show every single one of your children that you are here for them and you love them, Heavenly Father will help with the rest. 



Thanks for reading. I will see you in the next one, Bye! 



All the information I used in this blog came from a book called Successful Marriages and Families Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite and Thomas W. Draper.  

Fathers and Finances




When I was little, I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said I wanted to be a mom. The kids in my class said that I couldn’t make money as a mom. I told them “Oh I know my husband will make the money.” They asked me “Like you don’t want to be a firefighter and make money for yourself?” Back then it was obvious to me that my husband would make all the money and I would take care of the kids. Now that I’m older I see that both of parents have full time jobs to support our family. I realized that time has changed, and things are a lot more expensive now. I will most likely need a job when I get married. 



My family is very blessed with what we have. Me being the oldest and at college we have realized how much money it is going to take to put all four kids through college. Finances have always been a strain on our family. My parents don’t have parents that pay for everything if you know what I mean. We had to move to Utah because California was way to expensive for our family. We make it work with what we have. We have always payed our tithing and have seen the blessings that come with that. Also having jobs that don’t require us to work on Sundays have also blessed us. 

"We do live in turbulent times. Often the future is unknown; therefore, it behooves us to prepare for uncertainties. Statistics reveal that at some time, for a variety of reasons, you may find yourself in the role of financial provider. I urge you to pursue your education and learn marketable skills so that, should such a situation arise, you are prepared to provide."

-President Thomas S. Monson

I love this quote by Thomas S. Monson. This is exactly what my dad did. We have gone through many hard-financial problems including, my dad losing his job. But we have always been prepared and blessed for being prepared. 



My Father works so hard. Over the years he has suffered through jobs that have almost killed him so that we could live a happy and healthy life. My dad works in the construction business. He has had many bosses that weren’t the nicest humans on the planet. Including one that faired him because of his religion. He has put up with a lot to keep us in nice home and clean clothes. I’m so grateful for his hard work and his love for his family. He is such a good example to me. I want to find a husband that will work as hard has my dad. I strive to work as hard as he does. He has shown me how hard work pays off. I had to work and say for over a year in order to pay for the first two semesters here at BYU-Idaho.  



I’m grateful for his hard work and example. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoined, and I will see you in the next one. Bye!

Communication and Mutual Problem Solving

"Your most important friendships should be with your own brothers and sisters and with your father and mother. Love your family. Be loyal to them. Have a genuine concern for your brothers and sisters. Help carry their load so you can say, like the lyrics of the song, 'He ain't heavy; he's my brother'."

-President Ezra Taft Benson

I love this quote by President Ezra Taft Benson. He is one hundred percent right. The most important friendships should be with your own family. And what is key in any relationship? Communication and mutual problem solving. Communication is so important in the family. Being able to talk to one another really helps the relationship become stronger. You will be able to tell your family if something is wrong or if you have a problem with how things are working in the family. With knowing what is wrong you will be able to solve the problem together as a family. 

We are sent here on earth to multiply and replenish the earth. The family is the main part of heavenly father’s plan. Like I’ve said before, my family and I get alone so well. We truly are each other’s best friends. We communicate so well with each other. I truly believe that is why we get alone so well. We discuss problems and work on them together.  My parents are great communicators. They tell each other what is bothering them. They talk things out and solve problems together. They have only been married for 19 years, but they defiantly have worked together as a team through life problems.

I think that one of the hardest thing that has happened to our family was our move to Utah. My mom suffers from anxiety. When we had to make this life changing decision as a family she shut down. She didn’t eat or want to talk to anyone. One night my dad just left and didn’t come back for hours. I was truly afraid that he would never come back. When he came back, he said that he needed to clear his mind so he was in the right mindset so he could just listen to my mom and understand why she was feeling this way. If we moved, she would have to move away from her family and the only town she has ever lived in. Having my dad tell her that he was ready to listen really helped my mom speak her mind and get everything off her chest. We were able to come together as a family and made the decision to move to Utah. I’m grateful for my dad’s example of how to just straight up tell my mom that he is ready to listen and that he has the spirit with him to understand how hard it was for my mom.   

 Communication seems to be the biggest problem in families. Husbands and wife’s not willing to listen to each other, kids not willing to listen to the parents. Things like this can cause so much miss understanding and anger toward each other. Communication is key to every relationship. It is so important to have a family function properly.

Don’t forget to take a step back and try to understand the other persons point of view and listen. Don’t be afraid to communicate your thoughts and feelings as a family. I cannot say it enough, but communication is key. 

Thanks for reading. I’ll see you in the next one, bye!

Family Under Stress 

Many people think that stress is a bad thing, but what they don’t know is that it is good for you. When a family undergoes stress, it makes the bound between them stronger. For example, my family and I moved to Lehi Utah my junior year of high school. The high cost of living in California was a huge burden on our family. After countless prayers, fasting, and small miracles we decided that we would have a better quality of life if we moved to Utah. I was excited and ready for a change, but I was also terrified. I knew it was the right thing to do but I didn’t know why. Deciding to move was half the challenge. What should have taken one day to move took 3. We kept running into problems with our moving equipment. The trailer that was pulling our car was too small and the car almost fell off. We spent the night at a hotel and our car got broken into. It was just one thing after another, put so much unnecessary stress on the family. 

We just kept thinking whatever is waiting for us in Utah must be life changing if Satan is doing everything in his power to turn us around. Moroni chapter 7 verse 42 says Wherefore, if a man have faith, he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope. We put all our faith and hope in Heavenly Father that we were doing the right thing and not let all of these challenges stop us. My family and I are now able to see this experience with an eternal perspective. We have been able to see some of the reasons why we needed to move here. This whole experience put so much stress on our family. It took awhile for us to get settled and that was hard on my mother. That made everyone else feel bad and overthink if moving was a good idea.

 Going through this stressful time together made us come closer together. We get along with each other so much better know. I know that this was a trail from God and every time I think about our experience moving to Utah, I always have a smile on my face even though it was so hard on my family and me. In the talk “Get on with our lives” by Elder Steven E. Snow it says, “Life’s Challenges and changes provide opportunities for us to grow as we exercise our agency in making righteous decisions.” Going through challenges and changes as a family has helped us grow as a family. 

Stress is stressful! But having people going through the same thing helps it not seem so impossible. Having my family by my side when I go through hard things makes life so much easier. Family is the best thing in the world. My siblings and I are best friends. I have turned down friends because I would rather hang out with my family. I could not imagine a world without them. I’m grateful for all of the stress my family and I go through. 

I hope my story helps you realize that family stress can be a good thing. Thanks for reading. I’ll see you in the next one, Bye!

Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word sex? Do you think of jokes or that its naughty or that it should be kept a secret? You also might feel insecure or uncomfortable. What about the word temple? What comes to mind when you hear the word temple? Do you think of how sacred, holy, peaceful, powerful, safe and/or pure it is? What might also come to mind is the commandments you make and follow to enter the temple. Now you’re probably wondering why I would have you think about two very different things. Well they are actually pretty similar. 

Let’s talk about the requirements for both. For sexual intimacy it needs to be between a man and a woman. You must be married. You will need to mature and understanding of one another. You also have to be worthy and have respect for one another. For the temple you need to be eleven and older. You need to have a mature and respectful attitude when in the temple. You need to be worthy to enter the temple. As you can see, they are very similar. Sex within marriage potentially teaches Heavenly Father’s deepest truths about oneness. Sex within marriage is sanctified and serves great spiritual and temporal purpose.

We have always been taught that sex is a bad thing. That it’s dirty and/or naughty. Every time something that comes in the tv of people kissing or anything like we are told to close our eyes. We are just trained to think that its bad. So, when we are married and ready to do it. People sometimes feel wrong or that they are committing a sin. Satan puts this fear and anxiety in our mind. He takes the sacred thing and turns it to make it seem like it should be secret. The temple is not secret, it is sacred.

“A loving Heavenly Father reserved something divine, the physical union between husband and wife, for the heart of marriage, God drew bounds around sacred physical union as something to be experienced with each other as husband and wife”. (Successful Marriages and Families chapter 5). Heavenly Father gave us this because sexual interaction is a healthy component of marriage that need not be a source of negative feelings or guilt. Sexuality should be expressed in a way that enhances your intimate, marital relationship and bonds you together. Sexual intimacy is a beautiful thing and should be treated as a sacred thing. Not a secret.

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed, and I will see you in the next one. Bye!  

 

Transitions in Marriage

What do you think about when you hear the word engagement? Super romantic gesture, the man gets down on one knee with a photographer to capture the perfect moment. That’s what I think about too, but it doesn’t need to be like that. Most of the time if it’s a big engagement the marriage doesn’t work. The guy will plan this big thing with lots of people watching and she will feel forced to say yes. Engagement is a sacred. It is when you are preparing to make and keep sacred covenants.

The main thing that happens during the engagement is the wedding planning. The average amount of money that people spend on their weddings is around $30,000. Now where do they get the money? Parents? Savings? The bank? Yes, yes and yes. Usually it is the parents of the bride that does most of the paying, cause it’s their little girls’ big day and everything has to be perfect. Now that means that the mother of the bride will have a say in everything that happens at the wedding. The mother and the bride will spend a lot of time together planning. Creating this space between the bride and groom. Starting off apart isn’t going to work very well. President Russell M. Nelson says “Meanwhile, mortal misunderstandings can make mischief in marriage. In fact, each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. Happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concentrated effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed in each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness." Planning the wedding together as a couple is a great way to see if it is actually going to work out between the two of you. Imperfect people working together to become perfect. Learning early how to work together is key. 

Now you are happily married. Now you live together. The transitions that take place are who is doing certain responsibilities. Responsibilities like cooking food, who does what chores. Another factor is sharing space. Having to just things that might be normal for you but may not be for your spouse. Things that you may also consider is the introduction of children.  Things like this need to be discussed and you need to be open about with each other. Or the smallest thing like which side of the bed do you want to sleep on can cause a strain on the marriage. You are building a life together and building a family. You need to be able to discuss the little things before the big things come around.  Don’t let the transition of marriage put a strain on the marriage. 

Thanks for reading. See you in the next one, Bye!